Louisiana Stile Barbecue
by Ms4Monkey
Summary: This is just short 'funny' story that I wrote about Ron and Monkey Fist. I don't know why I wrote it, but it's here. I wasn't feeling so good when I wrote it so... Don't say I didn't warn you. Please R&R.


Good evening. This is just a short 'funny' story that I wrote about Monkey Fist, Rufus, Bates, and Ron. I have NO idea what possessed me to write this fanfic! It's a very odd story, which you may find quite sick. It's not how I usually like to write stories, but I suppose a change every once in a while is allright. Oh well, here you go. Enjoy.  
  
*Please do not forget to Read and Review*  
  
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*Louisiana Stile Barbecue*  
  
It was a nice quiet calm evening. Inside of his castle in London, Monkey Fist relaxed in his living room. He sat on his blood red armchair next to the fireplace. No evil schemes ran through his mind as he listened to the soft melody of a piano piece. Then he called for Bates. "Bates! Bates!!"  
  
Bates comes to Monkey Fist. "What is it my lord?"  
  
"Bring me a cup of tea," Monkey Fist replied.  
  
"What kind, my lord?" Bates asked.  
  
"Earl Gray." Monkey Fist replied. He was in a good mood, so he decided to give Bates a break. "And make a cup of tea for yourself too, for your break."  
  
Bates stopped. 'What break?' he thought. Then he realized that Monkey Fist was just being generous. He smiled as he went to the kitchen to prepare the tea. "Coming right up, my lord."  
  
Monkey closed his eyes and began to meditate as the piano's melody soothed his soul. After a while, Bates came back with two cups of tea. He gave one to Monkey Fist. "Here you go my lord."  
  
Monkey Fist took it and signaled for Bates to sit down. Then they began to sip their tea. Just then a loud bang and crash came. Monkey Fist put the tea down. "WHAT ON EARTH WAS THAT??!!"  
  
Then before him appeared Ron. Monkey Fist put on a confused face. He didn't steal anything lately. What is the meaning on this! "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???!!!" Monkey Fist stood up outraged.  
  
Ron stood still and stared with a humorously stern expression on. "Oh, I just came..... To check up on you!"  
  
Monkey Fist stared at him like he was crazy.... Wait a minute, he was! "AND leave a whole in my castle???!!!!"  
  
Ron stopped and looked behind him. There was a huge whole in the wall. "Whoops" He said under his breath. "Sorry, next time I'll use the door."  
  
Monkey Fist stared in disbelief that Ron just rampaged into his castle JUST TO SEE WHAT HE WAS DOING!!! Rufus poked out of Ron's pocket and jumped to the ground. Then he stood in a kung fu position.  
  
Monkey Fist's jaw dropped as he held out his hands. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!!!!!!"  
  
Ron looked to the right, then to left. "Like I said..... We just came...To check up on you."  
  
"GET OUT OF MY CASTLE!!!!!!!!!!" Monkey Fist bellowed. Then Bates went up to him.  
  
"Wouldn't you like to invite them to tea?" Bates suggested.  
  
Monkey Fist stared at Bates in disbelief. They have all gone mad!! Ok so maybe just Bates. Then Bates gave Monkey Fist a wink. "Oh...." Monkey Fist stated as a devious expression came across his face.  
  
"Ron Stoppable, how would you like to join me for tea?" Monkey Fist asked in a polite manner.  
  
Ron looked confused. "Wait..."  
  
Then Bates went behind them with a rope as Monkey Fist held out a chair. Ron didn't know what to think, so he just sat down assuming that nothing would happen. As he sat in the chair, Bates came and tied him to it. "Hey!!" Ron said as he struggled to get free.  
  
***  
  
Just then two people walked in the castle. "Hello there partner, we're from Louisiana. Do you have anything to eat?"  
  
Monkey Fist stared at them. "Who the heck are you??!!!..... BATES!!!!"  
  
"I'll take care of it, my lord." Bates went up to the two gentlemen and walked them towards the exit. Ron, Rufus, and Monkey Fist silently waited.  
  
"So what are you going to do?" Ron asked.  
  
"Tie you up and torture you." Monkey Fist replied.  
  
"Oh that's nice," Ron said. "You know Bates doesn't really tie good knots."  
  
"Really?" Monkey Fist asked.  
  
"Yeah." Ron went on. "In fact, I'm not even tied up yet."  
  
"Oh, well he'll tie you up as soon as he comes back." Monkey Fist replied.  
  
"Ok." Ron said as silence came once again.  
  
Just then, Bates came back into the room. "Sorry to keep all of you waiting."  
  
"That's ok." Ron replied.  
  
"Allright, now where were we?" Monkey Fist asked.  
  
"Bates was tying me up and you were with Rufus." Ron answered.  
  
"Right." Monkey Fist stated as Bates began to tie Ron up.  
  
***  
  
Monkey Fist picket up Rufus so he wouldn't bite through the rope. "How do you tie a knot again?" Bates asked while tying Ron to the chair.  
  
Monkey Fist rubbed his eyes. "Hold this!!" Monkey Fist said as he handed Bates the naked mole rat. Then he began to make a knot.  
  
"Maybe you should try to make a bow. It's fancier." Ron suggested.  
  
"Maybe I should," Monkey Fist replied. "Wait a minute!" Monkey Fist stated after realizing that he was listening to Ron. "You keep out of this!!!!"  
  
"Ok, I was just making a suggestion." Ron commented.  
  
Finally, Monkey Fist was done tying the knot, and he snatched the naked mole rat from Bates. Then he went towards the fireplace. Just then two men appeared in the room again. "Hello there partner, we're from Louisiana. Do you have anything to eat?"  
  
"What are you doing here again??!! Get out!! BATES!!! BATES!!!!!!!!"  
  
"I'll take care of it, my lord." Bates went up to the two men, then he started to lead them towards the exit. Monkey Fist sighed as he rubbed his eyes. Ron and Rufus stared.  
  
"So now what are you going to do?" Ron asked.  
  
"Oh, I'm just going to kill Rufus." Monkey Fist replied.  
  
"Oh..." Ron stated.  
  
Rufus yawned. "Tired."  
  
"Don't worry, Bates shall be coming shortly." Monkey Fist commented.  
  
"Ok, good." Ron replied.  
  
Just then Bates came back into the room. "Ok, I'm back."  
  
"Good!" Monkey Fist remarked. "Now back to where we were."  
  
***  
  
"LET ME GO!!!!" Ron screamed as he struggled trying to get free.  
  
"It's no use to struggle, Ron. It will only torment you." Monkey Fist started to laugh evilly as he walked towards the fireplace. Rufus struggled in Monkey Fist's grip.  
  
"LET HIM GO MONKEY FIST!!!!!" Ron bellowed.  
  
"Let him go?' Monkey Fist asked sarcastically. "Ok." Monkey Fist dropped him into the fire. "Whoops."  
  
"NOOOOOO!!!!!! RUFUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ron screamed and burst into tears. "My sweet little naked mole rat...GONE!!!!" Then Ron pointed towards Monkey Fist. "You will pay!!!!.....YOU HEAR THAT??!! YOU WILL PAY!!!!!!!"  
  
Monkey Fist got some twisted amusement out of Ron's sobs. He started to laugh evilly as Rufus started to sizzle and burn. Then all of a sudden, two men came into the room. "You have some fine Louisiana stile barbecue goin on yall."  
  
Monkey Fist turned around and saw the two again. "I've got to change my locks!" He mumbled to himself. Then he walked over to them, getting ready to throw them out, when he stopped. "Sure, you can have some barbecue." He said with a devious smile. Then he led them to the dining room. "Here, have a seat. "Bates, entertain our guests."  
  
Bates went to the dining room as Monkey Fist went over to the fireplace. Rufus was almost done. He glanced at Ron, seeing him shudder in torment. Monkey Fist smiled. Then he took a bucket of water and lit out the fire. Rufus was crisp and ready. Monkey Fist didn't want to touch it, so he called Bates to do it for him.  
  
Then Monkey Fist ordered Bates to take Ron to the table with the other two men. After, Monkey Fist went over to the dining room as Bates brought out a plate. Then he opened it. There laid a delicacy.  
  
"Mmm umm, now that's some fine barbecue!" On of the men spoke out.  
  
"Yep! Yumm... Roosted naked mole critter! We gotta call ma and pa!" The other man exclaimed.  
  
"I'll do it!" The man stated as he took out his cell phone. "Hey Mom, Pa, There's a barbecue over at some English man's castle! Ok we'll save you some. Bye."  
  
'What do these people think they live here or something!' Monkey Fist thought. Then he served Ron a piece of meat.  
  
"Ewww!!!! I'M NOT EATING THAT!!!!!" Ron exclaimed.  
  
"It's chicken," Monkey Fist said as Ron took a bite. "Ok.... Actually it's Rufus."  
  
Ron's eyes got big as he covered his mouth. 'Where's the bathroom?"  
  
"The nearest restroom is past the living room to the left." Monkey Fist replied.  
  
"Thank you." Ron said as he raced towards the bathroom while he started to turn green. Monkey Fist began to laugh.  
  
Just then, the doorbell rang. Since Bates was busy, Monkey Fist went to answer the door. When he opened it, an older couple stood outside. "Hi we're from Louisiana, our sons are here, and they called us about a barbecue."  
  
"Oh, yes come in." Monkey Fist stated as he opened the door. 'Well at least they didn't just walk in.' Monkey Fist thought. Then he led them to the dining room. When they got there, the two men stood up.  
  
"What's wrong?" Monkey Fist asked.  
  
The couple went up to Monkey Fist as the two sons held on to him. "You're under arrest!" They pulled out their badges.  
  
Monkey Fist stared in shock as he got handcuffed. "What is the meaning of this??!!!"  
  
"It is illegal to serve a naked mole rat as a meal!" They all replied.  
  
Monkey Fist was very confused. Then he pointed towards the two 'sons.' "But they....."  
  
"Are spies sent from the government sent to check up on you!" The two police replied before Monkey Fist had time to finish. Then they started to drag Monkey Fist out the door. "Maybe next time you should keep your door locked."  
  
"MY DOOR WAS LOCKED!!!!!!!!" Monkey Fist bellowed as they took him into the police car.  
  
"And by the way....." They went on. "We are not from Louisiana. We're from Florida."  
  
Monkey Fist began to grown as they drove away.  
  
***  
  
Then Ron came out of the bathroom. "Hey, where did everyone go?"  
  
Bates went up to Ron. "Lord Monkey Fist got arrested."  
  
Just then, Rufus pocked out of Ron's pocket. Ron smiled, very pleased to see his little friend. "Hey Rufus!"  
  
"Hey... Wha?....Oh.... Oomph!" Bates fainted.  
  
Ron chuckled. "I guess that chicken got too carried away with your Rufus costume."  
  
"Yaha... Yaha... Yup!" Rufus nodded.  
  
"Oh, well. We were going to eat it anyway." Ron commented.  
  
"Yeah homemade!" Rufus replied.  
  
"Come on, let's go home little buddy. Our work here is done!" Ron stated as he began to walk towards the exit. Then he tripped on a banana and fell back. Just then, a whole fleet of monkey ninjas stood before them and growled.  
  
"Hey, I was kinda wondering where all the ninjas went." Ron commented. Then a ninja went to shut the lights off as the whole troop went to attack them.  
  
*THE END*  
  
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Ok, Yeah I know what you're thinking. That was the sickest, stupidest thing you've ever read! *evil laugh* I don't know why I wrote that!? Oh well. I hope that some of you got some twisted humor out of it. Please tell me what you thought of it. R&R, Good day. 


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